Baby father - rant

I don't think I've EVER wanted to hate someone as much as I want to hate my baby's father. Ever since I broke up with him, he still hasn't really shown me any respect, maturity, or that he has gotten his priorities straight.

Listen here buddy, since that day I found out I was pregnant, not just my life changed, but so did yours. FOREVER. I don't know what the hell it's going to take for you to get that through your non-existent brain of yours, but you better step up soon, or I'll find someone else who will. Even though I really don't need anyone else, and I could do everything on my own, I'd rather not. 

You never ask how I am, how your baby is, when my next doctors appointment is, how my doctors appointments go, etc. The fact that we aren't together anymore is beside the point. We still live together, and this is your first born child. Keep your shit up and you won't have a part in his life. That's the last thing I want to do, but if it comes down to it, a mother has to do, what a mother has to do to protect children first and then herself. 

You have to realize that this baby will require love, support, and money. Yes, that one thing that everyone can not get enough of. Speaking of money, you'd rather spend your tax return on a new car instead of saving it for your son. You have a perfectly good car, you just don't know how to take care of it correctly. He's going to be here in basically 3 months. Please for his sake, get your fucking priorities in line before it's too late. 

I know it's been a hot minute since I've posted something, but I really haven't had much to say. Hope everyone is doing fabulous!

Until next time,

--Lola

I feel like Nick & Jess's relationship...

That's how I want my next kiss to be....

 

Here recently I've been hardcore crushing on a guy I work with. Now I know it's not always the best thing to become emotionally attached to your coworkers, but at the same time I feel like I'm in Jess's shoes from New Girl. I feel as if my relationship with this amazing teddy bear that I work with is exactly like Nick & Jess's relationship.

 

For the past few months, ever since things have started going downhill with my baby daddy; ex, he's been there to calm me down, help me relax, and bring happiness back into my life. He's my number one favorite person ever, and the sweetest guy.

 

Everyone at work, especially the women in my department, have totally realized how attracted I am to him; and they have noticed how flirty we are to each other. Even though I'm pregnant with someone else's kid, he's been way more supportive than my baby's father has been, which means a lot to me. I just can't bring myself to shower him with all the love I have to offer.

 

I've always been afraid of rejection; afraid of growing old alone; and never being good enough. I don't know why, but it's just always been in the back of my head. I know there's nothing wrong with being single, but I just miss companionship, the company of someone else, someone who you know WILL be there for you, someone who won't reject any part of you, and love each and every part of you like the way you should be loved.

 

It's just something that's always on my mind, that I'll constantly think about...

 

Until next time-

Lola

Friday night fun times.

What better way to spend a Friday night?

 

After a long day of cleaning, and making the house look nice, cleaning out my chinchilla's cage, and then just being lazy?

 

My best friend/roommate is getting to spend time with some guy, and I'm just like...

What am I, chopped liver? I honestly don't mind being single, but I do miss cuddling and doing cutesy things. And the only person I'd love to be doing those things with, I'm pretty sure I'm just in the lovely awful friend-zone; but a girl can always dream, right?!

 

Anywho; I'm just relaxing on the couch, streaming some Netflix and not having a life!

 

 

That's right! Just marathoning watching some New Girl. I totally forgot how fantastic this show is. But once I finish this, which will probably be by tomorrow night; I'm gonna have to find something new to watch! So I need some idea's....

 

Until next time-

Lola

 



Update!

Well, well, well. Look who's finally deciding to show a little bit?

That's right! This girl right here. My little boy is as big as an ear of corn as of today!

I'm officially 23 weeks pregnant. And feeling this little miracle move more and more every day!

 

 

 

It's been one hell of a trip so far, but it's gonna be so worth it all in the end.

 

I know it's not much of a post, but decided to update my followers a little about how baby boy is growing like a weed!

 

 

Until next time-

Lola

It's nice to meet you, 2014.

So of course the big question is, What's your new year's resolution?!

 

 

And to answer that question; My new year's resolution is to not be a complete and utter fuck up. To do what's right for me and my baby. Not put everyone before myself. I know that seems selfish, but with how generous I am the majority of the time, I end up either A.) Getting walked all over. B.) Getting my heart absolutely crushed. Or C.) Both at the exact same time, and getting no respect afterwards.

 

 

I also intend not to be a complete bitch to everyone. Meaning, try to listen and give everyone a chance. Not backtalk my parents. And try to be as helpful as possible at work.

 

 

Spending of that stuff I work so hard to earn will also come to a close. I refuse to blow money on worthless stupid things this year. Only if I absolutely need it. (We'll see how long that lasts...)

 

 

 

 

Until next time-

Lola