Things are getting pretty cray!

So. It's been quite a while since I've posted..and I'm sorry! But my stupid ex/baby daddy decided to turn off our cable/internet without any notice at all! My roommate and I are still pretty livid about it, but it's whatever. We should be getting internet back within the next couple weeks! (Yay!!!)

 

 

Anyway! I'm linking up with Lisa and Rachael for this weeks Weekly Wrap Up! But it's gonna be more like a "Okay, this is what's been going on in the past month!" Just because I can. Haha.

 

 

Everything is going great with baby Preston. At the last ultrasound on the 12th, he was measuring about a week; week and a half ahead, and a rough weight of 4 pounds 12 ounces! Let's hope he decides to come on out to the world at the end of April.

 

 

Look at how cute he is! I also decided to splurge a little bit on him, since I've been refraining, but I was finally like, oh my god he will be here so soon, and I have like nothing for him yet! I ended up going to Ross, and spent a pretty penny, but I got so much! 9 different outfits, that come with 3 pieces, a baby blanket, and a set of bibs, all for like $85, which wasn't bad considering a couple of the outfits were originally from the Disney store!

 

 

Update with the boy: Things are going pretty great. He's still being super sweet, caring, and the best. Constantly compliments me, we're always on each other's minds, AND he wants to be there when I have Preston! When he told me that I was so excited! But as far as dating goes...we're just gonna have to play it by ear. He's worried that the baby daddy will get in the way, which is completely understandable, so I'm not pushing it. He also gave me this really cute owl necklace!

 

 

Not much else has really been going on. Just mainly working and sleeping, and the occasional hating my ex. I've seriously only heard from him once within the past month. And that seriously is not cool. The closer it gets to Preston getting here, the more I'm beginning to seriously think he wants absolutely nothing to do with us. He already practically moved out, never comes by, never calls/texts to ask how we're doing, and back right after I broke up with him, he told me he'd like to be there when I deliver. I honestly don't want him at the hospital at all. I don't care if that makes me sound like a bad person, but when someone doesn't show any support or anything like that, and just causes me an extreme amount of stress, why would I want them there when I'm in labor? If he wants to be there, fine. But he can sit his ass in the waiting room, while the people who have supported me the entire time, is in the room with me while I'm in labor, because I'm gonna need a complete stress-free zone!

 

Well, that's all for now! I'll try to be around more soon. I miss reading everyone's blogs!

 

Until next time,

 

--Lola

 



When you think things can't get any better...

I'm sure most of you know by now, that I'm expecting a baby boy in May, and I couldn't be any more excited about him; you may have also read in a previous post that I absolutely can not stand his father. 

Now, in my opinion, I think that if a father wants to be included in a child's life after the child is born, he should take the time to actually care about said child when he is developing in the womb. Actually ask how the baby is, how he's growing, if there's been any complications, attend doctors visits/sonograms, etcetera. But according to him, he still cares about his child, but he doesn't know how to actually ask me about him, which if you ask me, is complete bullshit. 

I'm not going to lie. I honestly think I made the biggest mistake ever dating him. I, however, do not regret Preston one bit. A child is a 100% miracle. And I would never say they are a mistake. 

I've been through a lot in the past 10 months. I moved towns, changed jobs, moved in with someone way too fast, got pregnant, and got severely hurt, mentally and emotionally. But with all that has happened, all I can really do is try to move forward, keep my head up, and know that I am a strong woman, with a good head on my shoulders. 

They say that the people that have been hurt the most, are some of the strongest people in the world, and I finally have come to agree with that. It has taken me almost 23 years, but I finally agree, and I think I have finally found someone who is worth my time and effort, and I'm taking things slowly, not wanting to do anything completely stupid. 

It truly does take a million mistakes in the wrong direction to finally stumble and fall in the right direction into something amazing. I seriously can't wait to see how things go. 

--Lola

(Sorry if this is kinda ramblely. It's been a rough day...)

Weekly Wrap Up: Hecticness!

 

This past week has in all honestly been probably one of the worst, and best weeks of this year so far. It was the last week of the business year at work, (Wal-Mart), and so they decided to cut everyone's hours. So I only worked for 14 hours, and had Monday-Friday off. So what did I really do with my time? Not much of anything really.

 

Spent a couple days at my dad's house, and while I was there Mother Nature decided to blanket the south in some of that lovely awful white stuff people call snow. Now granted I'm not a huge fan of snow, it was probably the best thing ever to watch my dogs play around in it. They hate the cold, but they rarely wanted to come inside because they would have rather been out playing. Which if I was a dog, I'd want to do the exact same thing. Haha.

 

I was there Monday-Wednesday, but when I got home Wednesday night, my roommate and I watched the season finale of American Horror Story: Coven and I for one enjoyed it, but was still a little disappointed with who the new supreme was. It was a little too predictable and just redundant in a way. I dunno how to really explain it, but all-in-all it was my favorite season so far.

 

On Thursday, it was a very long, awful day. It started off with me being in a great mood, but since my roommate worked a double shift, I was stuck at home by myself bored all damn day. Which then resulted in me feeling lonely, and just wallowing, and crying and all that fun stuff.

 

But when I woke up Friday morning, everything turned around, and it turned out to be a fabulous day. After Eddie had gotten out of school, he came to visit me, mainly to help cheer me up, which just him being around makes me feel better. But we had a short visit because I had a doctor's appointment that I had to go to; which I don't mind going to the scheduled ones I've been having on Friday's. It's actually called "Centering Pregnancy", which is a pregnancy group meeting, where you legit learn more about pregnancy, get more time with your doctor, learn how to take your own vitals, etc, all with 8-12 other women who are due around the same time you are. It's probably one of the greatest experiences I've ever had, and I recommend it to anyone and everyone if it's offered in your area, when/if you are pregnant! We also did a guided relaxation near the very end of the group and it felt amazing. Something I extremely needed. After group was over I ended up driving back up to my hometown to visit my mom, because she was back in town for the day before she and my stepdad had to head out for their next job assignment. Spent a few hours with them, got them updated with the latest gossip in my life, and they bought me dinner! That's always a plus. Haha.

 

Finally on Saturday I got to go back to work, because our work weeks for Wal-Mart run Saturday-Friday, and Saturday started our new work week. After being gone for 5 days, I felt like it had been decades since I had worked. It was pretty awful, but at least I was back, making money, and joking around with my coworkers. It was a pretty slow day, hell the entire weekend was slow, except for our TV sales. I don't know why people feel the need to come out and buy huge ass TV's for the "big, bad, superbowl" and then return said TV. It's like, really? Please get a life, thanks. Sunday wasn't much better. We had a few spurts here and there, but for the most part it was completely dead, but at least Eddie always makes work that much better. We also decided to pass the time playing with a slinky. Like, who knew slinky's could be so damn fun.

 

 

 

Honestly, the best time of the entire week was literally right after I got off work last night. When I clocked out, it was time for Eddie's lunch break. Instead of me going straight home, I decided to spend his lunch with him, and we had quite the conversation. I updated him with how much of a living hell my life has been since I moved down to Winston, and just how disrespectful my ex is being about everything. He also asked if my ex has ever thought about getting back together with me, and I flat out said that it's NEVER happening. Not in this lifetime, not ever. So then he was curious as to why I broke up with him in the first place, etc, which I didn't mind explaining to him.

 

Now here's where it gets better. He finally straight up asked me to tell him in person that I've been crushing on him. He's heard it in texts, and from fellow coworkers, and he was ready to hear it from me; and me being the person I am, I can never find the correct words, wording, etc to ever tell someone how I feel about them. I don't know why I'm that way, but I just am. Anywho finally it came out of my mouth that I am obviously crushing on him, and he admitted to me that he's got a crush on me as well! He's honestly the sweetest guy I've ever been interested in. He's very sweet, caring, a great listener, and gives the best hugs ever. I think I have finally found a keeper. He also said he wants to take me to dinner sometime. Which makes me very happy; but sadly after we had gotten done with that, his lunch break was over, and it was time for him to go back to work, but before he went back in, he gave me the longest, most amazing hug ever, and kissed me on the forehead. I've been on "cloud 9" ever since last night. I just can't believe we have finally made progress and getting somewhere!

 

 

Hopefully this week brings some more fun, smiles, happiness, and much much more!

 

 

 

Until next time,

--Lola

 

 

 

 

Linking up with Rachael and Lisa!

Baby father - rant

I don't think I've EVER wanted to hate someone as much as I want to hate my baby's father. Ever since I broke up with him, he still hasn't really shown me any respect, maturity, or that he has gotten his priorities straight.

Listen here buddy, since that day I found out I was pregnant, not just my life changed, but so did yours. FOREVER. I don't know what the hell it's going to take for you to get that through your non-existent brain of yours, but you better step up soon, or I'll find someone else who will. Even though I really don't need anyone else, and I could do everything on my own, I'd rather not. 

You never ask how I am, how your baby is, when my next doctors appointment is, how my doctors appointments go, etc. The fact that we aren't together anymore is beside the point. We still live together, and this is your first born child. Keep your shit up and you won't have a part in his life. That's the last thing I want to do, but if it comes down to it, a mother has to do, what a mother has to do to protect children first and then herself. 

You have to realize that this baby will require love, support, and money. Yes, that one thing that everyone can not get enough of. Speaking of money, you'd rather spend your tax return on a new car instead of saving it for your son. You have a perfectly good car, you just don't know how to take care of it correctly. He's going to be here in basically 3 months. Please for his sake, get your fucking priorities in line before it's too late. 

I know it's been a hot minute since I've posted something, but I really haven't had much to say. Hope everyone is doing fabulous!

Until next time,

--Lola

I feel like Nick & Jess's relationship...

That's how I want my next kiss to be....

 

Here recently I've been hardcore crushing on a guy I work with. Now I know it's not always the best thing to become emotionally attached to your coworkers, but at the same time I feel like I'm in Jess's shoes from New Girl. I feel as if my relationship with this amazing teddy bear that I work with is exactly like Nick & Jess's relationship.

 

For the past few months, ever since things have started going downhill with my baby daddy; ex, he's been there to calm me down, help me relax, and bring happiness back into my life. He's my number one favorite person ever, and the sweetest guy.

 

Everyone at work, especially the women in my department, have totally realized how attracted I am to him; and they have noticed how flirty we are to each other. Even though I'm pregnant with someone else's kid, he's been way more supportive than my baby's father has been, which means a lot to me. I just can't bring myself to shower him with all the love I have to offer.

 

I've always been afraid of rejection; afraid of growing old alone; and never being good enough. I don't know why, but it's just always been in the back of my head. I know there's nothing wrong with being single, but I just miss companionship, the company of someone else, someone who you know WILL be there for you, someone who won't reject any part of you, and love each and every part of you like the way you should be loved.

 

It's just something that's always on my mind, that I'll constantly think about...

 

Until next time-

Lola

It's nice to meet you, 2014.

So of course the big question is, What's your new year's resolution?!

 

 

And to answer that question; My new year's resolution is to not be a complete and utter fuck up. To do what's right for me and my baby. Not put everyone before myself. I know that seems selfish, but with how generous I am the majority of the time, I end up either A.) Getting walked all over. B.) Getting my heart absolutely crushed. Or C.) Both at the exact same time, and getting no respect afterwards.

 

 

I also intend not to be a complete bitch to everyone. Meaning, try to listen and give everyone a chance. Not backtalk my parents. And try to be as helpful as possible at work.

 

 

Spending of that stuff I work so hard to earn will also come to a close. I refuse to blow money on worthless stupid things this year. Only if I absolutely need it. (We'll see how long that lasts...)

 

 

 

 

Until next time-

Lola

2013 in a nutshell.

2013 was a rollercoaster of a year for me. As the year has slowly came to an end, I'm finally getting to the next amazing crest of an airtime hill that I hope never ends.

 

As the year began, I was just a girl slaving away trying to earn a living off what people decided to leave me based on how well of a job I did "entertaining" them. Aka; Server life. That went on for a few good months, until I came across this guy that ended up changing my life forever, whether I want to admit it to myself or not. I may not be happy with the choices and decisions he's made since I broke up with him, but for the rest of my life, part of him will always be with me. But I'll get more into that shortly.

 

We didn't have that long of a run; but for the most part, until he did some things that I'd rather not get in to, it was a happy relationship. Then things just started going downhill, and before it completely ruined me, I decided it would be best to just go ahead and end the entire thing.

 

We're still currently living together, but just as roommates, and yes, it is awkward, but it's the only thing I can do right now.

 

 

But as I was saying earlier...how part of him will always be with me....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, that's right! I'm having a baby. A baby boy to be exact. And I couldn't be more happier. I can't wait to meet my little man Preston Blake Mitchell in May 2014!

 

 

 

 

 

But I'm super glad to be putting 2013 in the books, wrapping it up, and hopefully never looking back at all the low valleys I hit.

 

2014 will be a better year. I'll make sure of it. I'll have my little bundle of joy to make it all better; I've got my best friends by my side no matter what, and my family is my rock. I refuse to let things get as bad as they did this year.

 

 

 

Until next time-

 

Lola